{"product_id":"funny-christmas-candles-i-like-them-real-thick-and-sprucy","title":"Funny Christmas Candles - I Like Them Real Thick And Sprucy","description":"\u003cp\u003eIt is a joke about trees. It is definitely a joke about trees. \"I Like Them Real Thick And Sprucy\" is for the friend who cannot hear a sentence about tree shopping without making that face across the lot.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHand poured with 60+ hours of Balsam + Cedar. A tree-trimming party, a December exchange, an adults-only secret santa: this is the one.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy You'll Love It\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"I Like Them Real Thick And Sprucy\" — a punchline that survives being read to a room\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSignature White jar — a white-printed label on reusable glass\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBalsam + Cedar — Fraser fir, balsam and cedar, entirely on theme\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNatural soy wax — plant-based, a clean burn with no petroleum wax\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePhthalate free and non-toxic — vegan, cruelty free and non-GMO\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA 13.5 oz jar with 60+ hours, lasting longer than the tree will\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHand poured in small batches in Minnetonka, Minnesota — made in the USA\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect Gift For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA tree-trimming party, an adults-only exchange, secret santa, a hostess with a sense of humour, someone who has everything, and the friend who ruins every tree lot.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Natural Soy Wax, Essential and Premium Fragrance Oils, Cotton Wick, Reusable Jar\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 13.5 oz Jar | 3.5 x 3.5 x 4\" 60+ Hours\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAttributes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Phthalate Free, Non-Toxic, Cruelty Free, Vegan, Non-GMO\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOrigin:\u003c\/strong\u003e Hand Poured in Minnetonka, MN, Made in USA\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Trim the wick to 1\/4\" before each burn\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eItem:\u003c\/strong\u003e SW-1991-15\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e15. Balsam + Cedar - Fraser Fir, Balsam \u0026amp; Cedar\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eQ:\u003c\/strong\u003e What is the funniest candle to bring to an adults-only gift exchange?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA:\u003c\/strong\u003e A double entendre beats an inside joke at any exchange, because the whole room gets it at the same moment. This one hides behind an entirely legitimate tree opinion.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eQ:\u003c\/strong\u003e How do I gift a double entendre without embarrassing anyone?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA:\u003c\/strong\u003e A line that also works literally gives everyone an exit, which is why tree jokes travel further than blunt ones. Anyone who wants to read it innocently can.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eQ:\u003c\/strong\u003e What do you get someone who thinks they are impossible to shock?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA:\u003c\/strong\u003e Someone who claims nothing shocks them is best given something they will have to explain to a parent. The explaining is the gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eQ:\u003c\/strong\u003e Does a pine scent work outside of December?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA:\u003c\/strong\u003e Fir and cedar reads as woodland rather than festive, so it carries happily through January and February. Plenty of people burn it year round.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eQ:\u003c\/strong\u003e What should I bring to a tree-trimming party?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA:\u003c\/strong\u003e Bring the host something that matches the evening rather than another ornament for a full tree. A fir-scented candle fits the room and the occasion exactly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eQ:\u003c\/strong\u003e Is it safe to burn a candle near garland or greenery?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA:\u003c\/strong\u003e Keep a lit candle a safe distance from garland, dried greenery and anything paper, and never leave it unattended. A clear, stable surface is the right home for it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cedar Crate Market","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47561174974620,"sku":"SW-1991-15","price":24.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0473\/1204\/4188\/files\/2024_White_Label_Signature_i_like_them_real_thick_and_sprucy.jpg?v=1788904666","url":"https:\/\/four35home.com\/products\/funny-christmas-candles-i-like-them-real-thick-and-sprucy","provider":"FOUR35HOME","version":"1.0","type":"link"}